LISTEN HERE - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/womenshealthstrategist/episodes/FEEL-the-FUCKING-Feels-e2khocm
Summary
Victoria discusses the challenges and fears associated with major life transitions, and how to overcome them by flipping the script and taking control of the ego mind. She shares personal experiences and insights on embracing change and creating space for new opportunities.
Victoria (00:00.97)
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Victoria L. I am your women's holistic health strategist and this is the podcast where we talk about all things health and wellness and finding peace and harmony in our midlife. So I'm going to be honest here. This podcast is delayed. I actually have not prepared a podcast for this week. It has been really insane the last couple of weeks and I just
did not get to it. And I see now why. Because I was supposed to show up here today. I ended up with a morning, a couple hours here to myself this morning so that I could record. And I'm supposed to show up here today to share with you guys how you can flip the script, how you can feel the big fucking feelings, and how you can move through them and not have them control you or...
allow yourself to just sit in fear 24 7. Okay. That's why I didn't have anything prepared because I needed to share this story. So here's the background. The last couple of weeks we have been really working through some transitions in our lives. There are some big things happening.
some big, big things like our older son moving out across the country, my middle son is about to graduate and he is going to be doing all his wonderful things and my youngest is working on some amazing things so that he can head into his final year of high school. So those are big transitions.
if you're a mom and you understand that like your kids leaving the home is a big, big thing. So that's a big thing. And then my husband and I are also facing our own transitions, you know, as those parents and those caregivers and stepping more into our roles in because now we have the time to step into the roles of partners together. We also have time to step into the roles of, you know, who we're supposed to be out in the world.
Victoria (02:13.002)
how we're supposed to show up to help and to be present for our fellow human race. So there's a lot. There's a lot of big things. There's a lot of big transitions. And here's the thing that I was struggling with until I had an amazing embodiment in session with my good friend Vanessa, who I will put her link because if you don't know what embodiment is, my gosh, you need to try this. And clearly, as you can tell,
My throat chakra has been a little clogged because I really need to get this out. So as I'm talking, it's clearing and I can feel it and it's amazing. So mind the throat and the clearings. Okay, so here's what I wanted to talk about today. With these big transitions and with these changes comes big fear, right? Our eagle is kind of a dickhead.
And our ego mind can jump into the driver's seat in our life. And I've talked about this before, but guys, sometimes we let it take over and we let it drive. And we let it say about all the bad things that could potentially happen. We listen, we sit with it and we allow it to drive and we get overwhelmed with the fear. We get overwhelmed with the doubt. And it can be a lot. And the thing is, is it's okay.
to sit in those feelings. It's okay to have them come up. I think we're so conditioned as, especially as women, to smile, be present, be happy, that when those big, crazy feelings like the scaredness, the fear, the upset, the overwhelm, when they come up, a lot of times,
I know for myself, I do the, you know, put on the fake happy face and try to get through it because I don't want anybody to know that on the inside I'm like screaming in fear. That's not good. We as human beings are supposed to feel all the feels. And when our ego takes over, when our ego brings all the things and the fears and the anxieties up, we do have a choice. We can sit and listen to our ego, absolutely. And oftentimes,
Victoria (04:30.218)
This is what I do is I envision what my ego looks like. For some reason, my ego looks like Jessica Rabbit. I don't know why, but that's what she looks like. And she shows up with her little cigar in her hand or cigarette in her hand and tells me, you're not good enough for this. You're not cool enough for this. This is not going to work out for you. This is horrible. And she's super snooty and super bitchy and thinks the world just revolves around her and that she's just a really
stuck up snow. So sometimes when she comes and she says all these things, I find myself in the fear. I find myself listening and being like, my gosh, you're right. I can't do that. I am useless. That's not great. So what I've been learning to do, and this is really helping me, this is why I'm sharing it with you guys, is...
to invite ego to sit in the passenger seat, not the driver's seat of my life. So yes, come and sit, tell me what you need to tell me. Let's talk about it. And let me drive so that I can decide whether or not we are going to take that left turn or take that right turn. You don't get to decide ego. And here's what I'm finding. A lot of the things that the ego says,
that Jessica Rabbit comes to sit up and say are untrue. Recently, I had this narrative running in my head that this next adventure, this next part of life that we are embarking on means that I'm disconnecting from everyone and everything, that I will have nothing to offer anymore. I'm no longer in a place or a space where I can be of use.
And that's simply incorrect. So in my embodiment journey with Vanessa, we went in and we really felt into what was the truth behind that. Where was that coming from? And for me, it really was based way down in the old, old, old narrative back in the 80s.
Victoria (06:51.722)
when you know your girlfriend moves across the country or your girlfriend moves even just down the other part of the town and you can't connect with her anymore because you're a little person and you don't have zoom and you don't have voicemail and you don't have telephones. I didn't have a cell phone in the 80s. I don't know anybody that has a cell phone in the 80s. So there was that feeling that once once you move,
once you disconnect from your roots where you are, you're no longer useful to that place. And I felt into that. And then I realized that is not the truth. I can show up in my podcast, in my Zoom calls. I can show up on my websites, in my courses, from anywhere in the world, thanks to technology. Technology has allowed me this opportunity, that narrative of that young girl,
feeling left behind, feeling left out, not feeling connected unless she's present, being forgotten about. That is incorrect. So I got to say to Jessica Rabbit, you know what? I appreciate that you are talking to me about this today. I appreciate that you're bringing these things up because that means that you care in your own special way. I'm not willing to sit in the fear. I'm willing to fear to feel it.
I'm willing to feel that big fear that transitioning in life comes with. I'm willing to feel into all those things and I'm not willing to stay stuck in them. We're going to keep moving forward and I'm going to ask you to sit in the back seat because I don't need you navigating. Right? And I think that is a huge thing. And I talk about it a lot, flipping the script.
in our women who business, this is exactly what we did. We took those limiting thoughts and we rewrote them as the truth. It's a beautiful exercise. I highly recommend it. So here's the thing. I rewrote that script. I flipped it in my mind. I flipped it on a piece of paper. I released it. I let it go. That narrative that I am going to be useless.
Victoria (09:13.45)
Moving into this next chapter, if I'm not doing exactly what I'm doing right now in the way that I know how to do it, I'm useless. I'm not going to be thought about. I'm not going to be considered. I'm not going to be important. I want so badly to move my holistic wellness business. This where I am right now helping women. I want to move this into a much bigger platform. I have huge visions for this.
And the narrative that kept popping up was, well, if you change anything that you're doing right now, you're useless. It doesn't work. You can't do that. You don't know how to do that. But here's the truth. You do know how to do it. I also know how to research how to do it. I love research. I love finding things out. I love watching hours of other people's instructional videos on YouTube.
That is me. So the narrative that I can't figure it out, I can't make it work. That's absolute bullshit. And I rewrote that. I rewrote that narrative. And how I wrote it was, I can move forward and what I don't know, I will find out. Simple as that. And I know I say simple as that, I know it's not as easy peasy as that, right? Like you have to sit with it.
And when I sat with it, when I did the embodiment journey with Vanessa, I really sat with it. We sat with some deep emotions. We moved through some deep, deep emotions and really let go of some, some crazy things. there were some big, big things that came up in that session. And after that session, I said, you know, to spirit, I, I talked to my guides, my spirit guides all the time.
I talk to God, I talk to spirit, I believe that we have so many entities out there protecting us and taking care of us if we just reach out and ask for their help. I said, look, I am aware that I have something amazing to offer. I am aware that you put me through this bullshit so that I could step up and help others not have to be in the same situation that I had to go through to help others. I know that's why.
Victoria (11:36.17)
I need from you a sign, some sort of symbol, something that says this is moving in the right direction, that I'm doing the right thing, that I am relevant, that I'm not going to be left behind. Within 24 hours of doing that session, doing my release, writing it out, writing out what I want to move forward into, guess what happens?
two different offers for collaboration. Two different offers for collaboration. Not only that, but one of the offers for collaboration brought forth these amazing ideas that I'm gonna marinate, I'm gonna plant those seeds, and I'm gonna marinate that are gonna be big ideas that one, can be done anywhere in the world. So if I wanna fly to Italy and do them, I can do them.
If I want to fly anywhere, or if I want to stay put, I can do them.
And I am so, so grateful. So as I sat with my gratitude journal this morning and these ideas are flowing and I'm writing them, I'm like, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. But the thing is, is I had to sit with the fear. I had to acknowledge the fears. I had to acknowledge the feelings, which if you know me,
at all. You know, I don't do well with feelings. I have a hard time. I am learning how to do feelings. But feelings yesterday were overwhelming for me. And I had to I had to write about them. I had to allow them I had to feel them. And then today, I get it's like, you can't you have to make space for these things, right?
Victoria (13:32.234)
If your cup is full of muddy, gross water, how are you going to have space in that cup for your beautiful spring fed water? All that nurturing spring fed water is not going to fit in your cup if your cup is full of mud. So I had to take the time to feel into the cup of mud, to feel into the heavy feelings and one by one kind of release them, let them go. So as I'm doing this, my cup is becoming
Unfold. Unfold the mud. There's less in it. So as I'm allowing for this space, then I can take my cup and fill it with beautiful spring water. And I can move into these beautiful things and start to marinate these beautiful ideas that are coming forward. And I want you to know you can literally do this with any aspect of your life, okay? You can do this.
Trust me, if I can do this, you can do this. I want you to think like, what is a big thing that you're facing? How does it feel when you think about that thing? Maybe it's something you really, really, really, really want to do. But that ego mind keeps stepping in and saying, that's not a great idea. You know, you're safe and secure where you are right now. Why would you do something stupid like step out of that security bubble?
Are those things true?
Are those statements true? Sure. You're safe and secure where you are right now. Are you happy? Are you really safe? Are you really secure? You know, maybe, maybe it's something like you have this amazing opportunity to grow your business or to start a new job. And Eagle Mind is like, you're kind of safe and secure where you are right now. It's okay. You're doing okay. It's fine.
Victoria (15:31.018)
But if you really look at the situation, are you doing okay? Are you fine? Is that a true statement? Are you making the money that you want to make to live the life you want to live? No? Then that statement's false. How do you flip that script? How do you change that narrative? How do you make space for the fresh spring water to come and fill your cup, to move you forward, to be a part of your life? Flip that script. Tell ego, thank you.
I appreciate that you're showing up in your way to try to keep me safe because that's what the Eagle Mind is. Eagle Mind is that primitive mind, you know, back from when we used to get chased by a wooly mammoth. Eagle Mind is that part of our, I guess that like reptilian brain or whatever they call it that like literally just triggers every little thing to make you aware so that you are mindful of any potential danger that could arise. Eagle Mind does not appreciate.
when you do things outside of its comfort zone. So it tells you about it. But the awesome thing is we are in control of our minds. So we can say, you know what? This is an untrue statement. The true statement is that stepping up into this new opportunity means that I'm able to grow and expand and serve my fellow man and woman.
and show up for mankind in a way that I feel amazing about every single day. So thank you for trying to protect me, but I'm good. I'm going to step in. So how about you take that backseat and I'm going to drive along this adventure. So.
I encourage you today or sometime in the very near future, if there is something that you really want to do, I encourage you to sit down and write your narrative about it. I encourage you to say what it is that your mind is saying to yourself. And then I encourage you to flip the script and to find the new idea or the reality instead of that fear mind and then see how it goes.
Victoria (17:47.178)
See what you can release to open yourself up to new and amazing opportunities. So that's all for me today, guys. Thank you so much for tuning in. And we will be back next week with an actual scheduled podcast. Thank you.
Comments