Before we dig in here, let me qualify this post, because I know it's going to be controversial, and I know some of you are coming for me just because of the title..... I KNOW there is value in network marketing, I have seen it first hand. This is NOT about whether or not you can or can not make money in network marketing. This is about an AH HA moment I had after epically FAILING with an MLM. A MOMENT that pushed me forward and helped me launch my first book, write my second book for a February launch and be almost compete on the HUGE course manual that will literally open doors I thought were locked for good for myself and those that come to the course.
That moment? Well it went like this.
I have spent years trying every MLM under the sun in an attempt to find the company, the product, the TEAM that would catapult me to that place of financial comfort. That place where I can work from my phone, ANYWHERE in the world. Never missing out on family things because I design my own life. I worked HARD at it all too. I did the research, found GREAT products, aligned with wonderful people, and experienced HUGE growth in mindset, and so much more. Yet I never made the money that my leaders did. So I would go out in search yet again for another great company, with even greater products, and even better results for clients and even better compensation plans and even better perks and conventions. And of course I would find them, because the one thing about these companies is that they are always looking to improve and gain more market share - which is a good thing if you are looking for a company to join. I would join HOT, KEEN and ready to bust open all the ranks and hit the top, but it never really happened. I would make enough to cover the cost of the products I was purchasing from them, then plateau. This pattern was on repeat for way to long, until this last company I joined. I joined again looking for the right thing that would make the lifestyle I so desperately wanted. But I failed it, and I failed it in EPIC fashion. I was not able to "just follow the simple plan" set out by my "top leader and mentor" (this is what she wanted me to call her, ALL THE FUCKING TIME!), her plan didn't add up in this market, she was american, and my area of canada was not all in on her ideas. I tried sooo hard, I wanted to be successful soooo bad, I WANTED this to be something that my husband and I could to together that would FINALLY allow us to not feel so fucking worn out all the time.... and as I was failing this dream big time, I felt this sense of grief come over me. I felt like I would never be able to be good enough to do this. That no matter what company I aligned with, I would never have what it takes to make it. That I was somehow the reason this all failed. And to be honest, I was not wrong at all. I was the reason it was failing, but not for the reasons I thought.
I gave up on the idea of having a multi million dollar MLM business, perimenopause was kicking the ever loving shit out of me anyways, so I needed to just focus on me. I kept taking my support supplements from a company that I had come to really like, but like hell was I going to be an an ANYTHING with another company. I needed a break and I needed to figure out these fucking hormones!
I worked on me, no pressure to sell what I was using to nurture my body, or pressure to post about it. If I wanted to talk about it, I did, but my focus was all on me. I detached from looking to something OUTSIDE myself as my way to save me, and started to look inside. I started to listen to my own knowledge, my own intuitive guidance, my own bodies needs. I started to listen when she said we didn't need that, or I would like this.
I was journaling when it happened. WHAM, like a giant stampede of elephants coming right for me, it hit me.
It never worked for me because I was constantly grasping for something outside myself to make me good enough...... because I didn't think that what I brought to the table alone was!
FUUUUUCK!
I realized that for each of these MLM efforts, I was reaching for a reason to feel good enough.
I couldn't just sell my nutritional coaching without the backing of some supplement company because ____________(insert a million I am not good enough reasons).
I couldn't just talk about plant medicines online without the title of Wellness Advocate because ________________(insert a million reasons why I wasn't good enough)
I couldn't just be a CERTIFIED personal trainer without the use of that companies online video library to actually support my clients because _________(again another million reasons)
I NEVER felt like I was just good enough AS IS! I always had to have someone / something better on my side, just incase. I was NEVER successful in these companies because I never believed I was GOOD ENOUGH! This mindframe was holding me back on so many things, not just the how much money I could make with an MLM.
I found that as I started to address the physical reasons I was feeling so off, I was also having to face the emotions, the reasons I got to this place to feel this way. I started to see that I had to dig deeper into finding ways to prove to myself that I was in fact good enough.
- Now, listen, I know that I shouldn't have to PROVE I was in fact good enough, but I'm a solid proof and need the evidence kinda person, so YES, YES I DID -
SO I started to show myself I was in fact good enough to do the things without a company backing me. I treated MYSELF like a nutritional coaching client, followed my programs, WITHOUT adding all the supplements and I started to improve. I started to program my own workouts, and host private yoga sessions for myself and I started to Improve. I started to align my work, workouts, nutrition WITH my menstruation cycles, and I started to improve!
I was seeing SOLID evidence that I actually did know what the heck I was talking about. I am in fact good enough at what I do. I can step up and share it without corp backing me up. I am able to help others with MY knowledge and 2 decades of education. I am FUCKING good enough as is!
As this shifted, I felt more confident to sit down at my computer and write my books. It started with a journal (I have not really published it yet), which lead to the course idea, which birthed the first cookbook, which led to the second one due to launch in February, which gave me the confidence to GO ALL THE WAY THE FUCK in and create a FULL course on all this knowledge that I have and need to share that I KNOW is going to affect HUGE change in SO many women's lives, I can feel it! All this NEVER would have happened if I didn't epically fail and fall flat on my face with my last MLM company. I really believe that.
I am actually really grateful for that failure, but I am even more grateful that I stepped out of "why is this happening to me?" and into "what is this showing me?", "What role do I play in this?" and "how am I responsible for my actions around all this?". I am also so grateful for those women in my life who led this example for me, who started standing up, stepping out of the restrictions places on them and stepping into their knowledge and gifts. There example made it clear where I had to go as well.
I guess the burning question is....... Will I ever try another MLM?? Guess you will just have to stay tuned for that one.
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