If I had a dollar for every time I’ve thought, “Why can’t I just get it together?” I’d be sipping fancy coffee on a private island right now. But seriously, why are we so hard on ourselves? Is it a hobby we all unknowingly signed up for in our 40s?
Midlife is like trying to juggle flaming torches while standing on a teetering yoga ball—it’s chaotic, unpredictable, and sometimes downright painful. Our bodies are changing, our lives are shifting, and just when you think you’ve got it figured out, the universe throws another curveball. And what do we do? We criticize ourselves.
Here’s the truth bomb: you deserve kindness—from yourself, most of all.
Why Self-Compassion Matters
Midlife is no walk in the park. It’s more like a marathon… through a park that suddenly bursts into flames, with toddlers running loose, and someone yelling, “Shouldn’t you be doing more with your life right now?” Sound familiar?
Between hormonal rollercoasters, career transitions, kids growing up (or moving back in), and that lingering, existential “What’s next for me?” question, it’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed. Then, to top it off, our inner critic loves to pipe up with unhelpful commentary like, “You should’ve handled that better” or “Why aren’t you where you thought you’d be by now?”
But here’s the thing: research shows that practicing self-compassion can actually lower stress, boost resilience, and increase happiness. Yet we often treat ourselves worse than we’d treat a houseplant we forgot to water. (And let’s be honest, the plant at least gets a guilt-ridden apology. I know you talk to your plants too.)
3 Simple Ways to Be Kinder to Yourself
Ready to stop being your own worst enemy? Here are three practical ways to practice self-compassion without turning it into another item on your to-do list:
Talk to Yourself Like a Friend - Imagine your best friend just royally messed up. Would you say, “Wow, you’re a total failure, and you’ll never get it together”? Of course not! You’d offer words of encouragement or at least a “Let’s grab a coffee and forget about it.” The next time you’re tempted to berate yourself, pause and ask, “What would I say to my best friend in this situation?” Then, say that to yourself (bonus points if you add a comforting tone).
Take a Self-Compassion Break - When life feels like too much, give yourself permission to stop and acknowledge it. Try this:
Say, “This is a moment of suffering.” (Because it is, and naming it is powerful.)
Follow with, “Suffering is a part of life.” (Welcome to the human condition, my friend.)
Then, “May I be kind to myself.” (Seriously, be nice—you deserve it.)
Forgive Yourself - So, you made a mistake. Guess what? You’re human! (Shocking, right?) Instead of hitting replay on the mental highlight reel of your errors, remind yourself that imperfection is part of the package. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting; it means learning, growing, and moving forward without dragging guilt around like a carry-on suitcase.
Now, before you think self-compassion is just code for letting yourself off the hook, let me clarify. It’s not about ignoring your goals or binging Netflix while eating ice cream straight from the carton (though no judgment if you do, cause me too!). It’s about treating yourself with grace, acknowledging your humanity, and moving forward with less guilt and more love.
This week, let’s make a pact: stop being your own worst critic and start being your own biggest cheerleader. Imagine how much better life could feel if you showed yourself even half the love and compassion you give to others.
If you need extra support on this journey (or just someone to remind you that you’re not alone), hop into my Facebook group Women’s Holistic Health Strategies. It’s a safe space where we can navigate this midlife madness together.
And if you want even more insights on how to stop the self-criticism spiral, catch up on my latest podcast episodes. I dive deeper into why we’re so hard on ourselves and how we can finally break the cycle. You’ll laugh, maybe cry, and definitely feel a little lighter.
Remember, kindness isn’t just something you give to others—it’s something you owe yourself. 💕
Comments