Listen here PIZZA, I am not finishing this slice, no matter how guilty you are trying to make me feel!
Do you remember as kids being told to eat all your dinner because there are starving children in africa who would actually appreciate your food? The conditioning growing up to eat all the food on your plate was STRONG! Don't waste food, it doesn't matter if you are FULL, you took it now eat it! then pile on the narrative that looking like a broom stick crack head was sexy in the early 90's and you have a recipe for bulliama if I ever saw one.
I have struggled with disordered eating for a VERY long time. I can remember being quite young when I first related the size of my body to my worth. I struggled with knowing that I needed to eat to be healthy, but also needed to know eat to be skinny and worthy. This led to binge and purge episodes well into my adult life.
Being a part of the "diet and healthy living" circles for over 20 years also didn't help. Putting myself on diet after diet, restricting my food intake to certain things, certain times ment never feeling like I was ever going to measure up to the standards set out by my industry that I was so proud to be working in. It was a battle to try to find that happy balance between listening to my body, eating in a way that was based in self love, and also not overeating and feeling like a bag of ass.
It wasn't until these last couple years, learning about my cycle, how it relates to my cravings, my nutritional NEEDS, and how my body was literally asking me for certain things to help it create balance and homeostasis that I feel I was truly able to break away from it all.
I know for me, I need a plan, but I did not want to feel like I was being restricted to only one of these or NONE of those. I wanted to know what my body was actually asking for and not just what my hormone imbalances had hijacked. What I really wanted to learn was how to actually listen to the "YOU ARE FULL NOW" response and be able to stop eating without the guilt of not finishing.
I did just that last week. We ordered pizza because we all forgot the get out the chicken to defrost for dinner. I sat down with my normal - 2 slices, 4 wings and plain yogurt to dip it all in. I ate the wings, started on the first pizza slice and started to feel heavy and full. I however continued to finish the first slice, even though i really didn't want to. I picked up the second slice and bit into it, feeling like why the fuck am I eating this??? I was struggling with the guilt of "you took it, now eat it" and the "listen, we don't want anymore". I put it down, looked at it and said to the pizza "Listen here PIZZA, I am not finishing this slice, no matter how guilty you are trying to make me feel!". and I didn't eat any more of it.
It wasn't really until the next day when the half eaten pizza slice resurfaced from the fridge that I realized just how awesome that statement really was. I got a little giddy when I realized that not only did I tell off the pizza, I was able to tune into my body and only eat what was right for it. I don't feel like a bag of ass because I ate to much and my body is STILL trying to digest it all, I didn't restrict myself and make myself feel guilty for "eating outside of the plan", I ENJOYED the pizza I did eat, and I enjoyed not feeling like shit the next day. This was a HUGE WIN!
Creating the 28 day Strategy - 7 weeks to harmonize hormones was based on getting to this awesome place of self awareness. I created it so that I could have a guide to what would nourish my body in a way that it needed and allowed "eating outside the plan". I don't include portions because I want to be able to listen to my body and put down the pizza when I am full, or eat the WHOLE steak because my period is here and I am NEEDING the WHOLE freakin thing! I wanted to help other women find a happy relationship with food, ALL FOOD, and create a deep love for NOURISHING YOU.
I am still pretty in awe that after literal DECADES of diet culture conditioning, binge and purge, I have been able to shift into nourishment for self love, and that I get to help so many other do the same. It really is a beautiful thing when you can get to the point where you enjoy nourishing your body and it feels like an act of SELF LOVE!
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