Updated: Oct 12
Your best friend is someone that ALWAYS gets whatever they want. She has the big beautiful house, the amazing career, and the best hair and skin you have EVER seen. SHE is AMAZING! Everytime you turn around there is more greatness coming her way. She gets to travel all over the planet for work, has an amazing Nanny who does ALL the housework too, and she can afford one of those personal chefs that preps all your meals. Everytime you open your Instagram she is off at some luxury spa getting pampered. Her husband is a high powered Lawyer of some sort too, they are just rolling in the money. You have to admit, it makes you a little mad, or maybe it is jealousy. You aren’t overly sure. Either way, it makes you feel like your life will never measure up. You are a stay at home Mom of 4 with limited finances. Your husband works an average job, and your kids all love to play hockey. Your time and budget is completely wrapped up in your kids, the only facials you get are the ones you do at home in your own bathtub. There is no way on god’s green earth that you could ever afford to have the house like she has, the monthly facials, hair treatments and pampering that keeps her looking 20, well into her 40’s. It is just so hard to watch her be all that, so you decide to distance yourself. She will NEVER understand what it is like for you, and your struggles, she has EVERYTHING you always wanted
Your best friend is someone that has EVERYTHING you have always wanted. She is a natural beauty. Always radiating, and glowing in ways you can only achieve with make up and filters these days. She is a super busy stay at home mom to 4 amazing kids, always on the go with her adorable little people. Her husband has a job that allows him to spent time with them too. He is home for dinner most nights and helps her raise those great kids. She has the most adorable home too, there is a white picket fence and everything. It’s like something out of a novel. You really envy her. She posted a great picture the other day of her and her oldest son doing mud masks in their bathroom together the other day, and it pulled really hard at your heart. You sat alone in your hotel room halfway across the planet from your kids, so jealous of her you could taste it. You have to work a lot of long hours to maintain what you have, you haven’t seen your husband in what is probably MONTHS, and your kids started calling the Nanny “Momma”. The last time you got to spend time with them, they referred to you on a first name basis. You would give anything to figure out how she does it all. It is just so hard to watch her be all that, so you decide to distance yourself. She will NEVER understand what it is like for you, and your struggles, she has EVERYTHING you always wanted.
Who’s played these scenarios out in their own lives? Let’s admit it. We all have. We have all watched as someone else gets “everything”, and you are just over here turning shrek green with jealousy. It’s ok, don’t beat yourself up, we all do. We are conditioned from an early age to want more, and want what others have. Especially in the day and age of giant corporate advertising campaigns. The problem with this though is that there will ALWAYS be someone that seems to have more of what you want. It’s just the way it is.
What if everytime you started to feel negative about what She has, that you don’t, you flipped the narrative?
What if you decided to start saying Thank you the things that you do have?
What if you stepped out of the LACK mentality and into the GRATITUDE ATTITUDE?
This is a huge shift, yet it is a simple shift. It has been a shift I have been working really hard to implement in my own life. I often find myself looking at others, the items they have, the success they have, the life they seem to lead and feeling that pang of jealousy. I am taking steps to see that for what it is, ego telling me I need to have More, to be fully happy. This is just not the case! I see that evil little voice now for what it is. Fear that there isn’t enough to go around, and that I won’t get my share. It’s just NOT true!
Here’s what I do to help shift my perception away from feelings of LACK to Gratitude.
Take a deep breath and call out the feelings for what they are. Acknowledge that you are creating a story that is taking you out of your own power and giving that power to objects or others. I often will say out loud, “I see you ego, I see you trying to tell me that I am not enough just as I am, with what I have.”
Take another deep breath and exhale those feelings. Imagine them leaving you as the breath leaves your body.
Find at least one thing you are GRATEFUL for in relation to what you seeing as a lack. For example if you feel lack because your home isn’t as big as your friends, instead find gratitude that you home offers a warm and cozy place where your family can feel safe.
Repeat this every time you catch yourself shifting into lack. As you do this you will start to see how these little items in your life build JOY. You stop feeling that lack creeping up, and you start feeling joy. You feel joy for your friend that has the opportunity to travel with work, you feel joy for your friend that opens that cute little shop and follows her dreams, you feel joy in all those things that you used to feel jealous over.
Start to allow yourself this simple shift into gratitude, and start to see changes in your JOY levels.