I have 18 half completed posts sitting in my drafts folder. For real I actually checked. Each of these were started with the intention of sharing something I felt was a great share, stopped before completed and reverted to a draft because my Imposter Monster, and Sabotage Sally convinced me to do so. I have done a lot a work to shut these two up, but sometimes,,,,,, they are louder than my own heart and logic, so I listen. I talk about these two creatures a lot in my course ReClaim Your Calm. I share my strategies on how to put these two in a corner for a time out so you can do what you need to do, and step forward into your power.
Yet, last week, and right now as I am writing this, these two asshats are sitting with me telling me to not write this week. Telling me to "just forget about it". Telling me "you don't need a repeat of last week."
Here's the back story. Last week I published a post I thought would be really helpful, considering what we are currently experiencing. I shared my research and successes that my family and I have used these last two years to stay healthy and recover when we have been unwell. Within hours of it being up, I was getting messages about it. A couple people were really grateful for the ideas, others,,,,, not so much. Someone even reported the content, and part of my post was unpublished. I had to remove it, reword it and try again. So far, the second draft has been ok, and no one has since reported the content.
So, since that all happened, I have been avoiding sitting down to write. My monsters have been having a party with this one. I wanted to write about something COMPLETELY different from this, but I just couldn't seem to get it to flow.
"What if someone disagrees?" "What if you offend people, and they report you again?" "What if, what if, what if!?!?!"
I knew when I committed to writing every week, some of the things I had to share would not sit well with everyone, some of the stuff I would share would be boring, and some would end up being my rantings. I knew I would be beating down these monsters on the regular, because overcoming my fear of writing is a huge thing for me. BUT, I don't think I really thought about how often I would be writing drafts of posts....
Although this isn't what I wanted to write this week, I feel like the only way through this monster attack was to talk about. I felt like I needed to share that these asshats are a real part of the human experience. They really can mess with you.
This is a small victory in my journey to get writing every week. It may not be what I wanted to share, but I am sharing, writing and being consistent. Those are the things I CAN control and I CAN commit to. The monsters won a little bit of the battle, but not the whole thing.
Think about something you really want to do in your life, is there something that you are waiting for the right moment to start"? or planning to share about when you are finished gathering ever bit of knowledge that the universe has to offer on the subject? If this is you, I encourage you to take one small action step. Maybe you really want to make macrame plant hangers and sell them on etsy,,,,,, but you have never even tied a knot before. Head to the dollar store and grab some rope, and tie some knots. They may not be plant hangers yet, but you are well on your way to getting there, and each knot you tie is going to shut that monster up just a little bit more. It's all about those Little Habits, making BIG Changes. It's not a very easy task,,,,, but nothing worth having is ever easy. I said that I would write each week, so I am, the good the bad and the ugly!
**I have now read this post 4 times, and keep second guessing pressing publish.... so I guess if you get to this part it means I actually clicked the button.