Summary
In this episode, Victoria discusses the impact of perimenopause on relationships and the importance of building a strong support system. She emphasizes the need for open and honest communication, sharing experiences, and seeking professional help. Victoria also highlights the significance of setting boundaries, practicing empathy, and educating loved ones about perimenopause. She provides practical tips for strengthening relationships and building support networks. The episode concludes with an invitation for listeners to share their stories and insights.
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Welcome back to another episode of Victoria L. I am so excited to be here again. This is episode three. So today we are halfway through our series that is coming to you over the summer. And it is all about the coming, right? Becoming, being whole, being okay with the whole perimetapause journey. So today in episode three, we are strengthening relationships and building our support systems. A huge part of
being able to navigate this with ease and grace. So welcome back. Welcome back to this series. And today, you know, we are really diving into a topic that is so important during this transformative phase, the relationship topic, huge topic during this phase. Specifically, we are exploring, exploring today how Pyramidopause can impact our relationships, how we can build a stronger support system.
and how we can lean on each other to navigate this journey together instead of apart. Right? So before we begin, let's take a moment to reflect on some of the stories that came in on some of the things, the questions that I have received that has helped me to build this series for you, right? Your experiences, your insight, everything that you guys have shared with me has brought incredible value, I feel, to this podcast. So,
Please keep sharing. Please keep reaching out. Please keep engaging in these conversations, right? Many of you shared with me when I've reached out with you or you've just reached out with me, you've shared how perimetopause has deeply affected relationships in your life with partners, family members, friends. You know, I even had one of you reached out and shared how their mood swings and fatigue has really caused a huge strain.
on marriage and I can relate that is a huge part. Another person reached out and talked about how you know you're feeling disconnected from your friends. Maybe you know she stated how she doesn't think her friends are in the same part of life as her anymore so now she's feeling like they don't understand what she's going through and that is a huge part of it too.
Victoria (02:21.116)
I completely relate to that because there was a big shift that happened when it hit me really hard and I had to stop a lot of the things that I was doing before. And in doing so, I lost a lot of people's understanding or breaks in that period, right? So, you know, these stories that we share with each other really highlight the importance of addressing the impact of perimetopause on our relationships.
And really how important it is for us to continue to seek support during this time of change, to reach out for others, experiences, and to connect over all of this, right? It's one of the biggest reasons why I wanted that Facebook group so that we could start doing that in there. So perimetapause, right, has a huge impact on our relationships. It really, really does. Perimetapause can bring about significant changes in our relationships too.
Our hormonal fluctuations can lead to mood swings, irritability and changes in libido, which can affect intimacy and communication with our partners. That is a huge part of it. Now, before I continue, I want you to know that if this is something that you're experiencing, I am not a therapist. Please reach out to a counselor or a therapist that you can trust to help you if you're having, you know, these issues or these feelings.
or reaching out to others who have been in that situation for help is a really vital thing to do. So I want you to take from this episode today, whatever resonates with you, reach out for the help that you need and just know that I'm sharing with you from my personal perspective, from, you know, what's what I've gone through and what you guys have reached out to me and shared. So it's important to take care of you in the way that you feel connected to do so.
So let's continue. It is common in this phase to feel misunderstood or isolated even, right? Especially if your loved ones or the people around you, maybe they aren't familiar with what's happening with your body and paramedic, why you're acting the way you are. This is really why building open and honest communication will be a crucial step, not only in your relationships, but in your partnerships as well.
Victoria (04:44.028)
So it's okay to share what you're experiencing and to ask for their understanding support. There was a whole period of time when it hit me really hard that I was ashamed. I didn't understand what was going on and I didn't even share with my husband at all. And it caused a strain because he thought I was just pushing him away when really I was not. I was just not sure what I was going through.
And I wasn't sure whether or not speaking to him about it was going to do me any good. It turned out it did. It was good to talk about it. So having a strong support system can really make the world of difference. Honestly, it can during perimenopause. This might include, you know, maybe friends, you have friends that are going through similar experiences, family members.
who are empathetic or supportive, maybe family members that have already gone through this and can walk you through some of the things that are happening and you're like, it's okay, this is normal. This is what I experienced, right? Or, like I said before, reaching out to your healthcare professionals who can provide you with guidance, therapy, and care, right? It is important to really actively build and nurture these support networks. So,
It's important. This is what is important about that statement is that if you are hiding away and blaming the world and you're not actively seeking out for yourself to then, you know, it's lonely. It's hard. So here are some things I want you to consider some strategies that you can consider using. If this is you, if you're having a hard time in relationships, number one, reach out.
Don't hesitate to talk to a trusted friend, family member about what you're going through. Share your experiences. I guarantee you, you're going to share your experiences and you're going to get, my God, me too. From so many other women, right? Sharing your experiences can help to create deeper connections, foster understanding, build that bond. You know, nothing better than a bond where you come together and you can bitch about your periods.
Victoria (06:58.428)
Right? So build that. Joining a support group. Maybe you go online or in person, find a support group of women who maybe are going through perimetopause or going through these things that you're going through. This can provide you with a safe space where you can share your stories. You can ask questions, you know, receive support from others who are truly understanding of what it is that you're going through. Seeking professional help. I'm a huge advocate for this.
reach out to your practitioners, your therapists, your counselors that can offer you guidance on managing those emotions, improving your communication. That could be a huge thing. If you're not used to talking about these things, then all of a sudden your world is turned upside down. You're facing these symptoms that you don't know what's going on and you're not willing to communicate. That can be a huge strain. That was me, right?
learning how to improve these communication skills in your relationship is invaluable. And coping with the changes in perimetopause that it is going to bring is a huge thing, right? Finding these professionals that can help you do this. Build that support system. You know, it isn't just about reaching out and asking for help all the time. It's also about giving to others, supporting, you know, maybe
offering your story so that others who are going through similar challenges can relate to you and what you're doing. Right? So really, you know, some practical tips for strengthening our relationships and building these support systems. During PeriMetaPause, I want to share with you some of the ones that I personally like, this is like, okay, this is what I needed to do. This was like,
your relationships are sucking because you are you are not utilizing these practical tips. So number one communication, be open and honest with those around you about what your experiences, right? Encourage a dialogue, encourage them to be understanding and be okay with those who aren't. This was a huge thing for me. I really changed a lot when perimetopause hit me.
Victoria (09:22.236)
physically, mentally, emotionally, it was a whirlwind of shit that came and knocked me down. And so I had to be open and honest and I shared open and honestly with a lot of the people around me, my loved ones, and I shared my experience. Some were very understanding and were compassionate or just had empathy and maybe they didn't know exactly what I was going through or what I was saying.
because they hadn't experienced it, but a lot of them had empathy, but some didn't. Some were not willing to see what it was that I was going through at that time because what I was facing was affecting them negatively. And so at that moment, I had to be okay with that's not a dialogue door that's open, but this one over here is, right?
So then I learned, you know, the practice of empathy, practicing empathy towards myself and towards others, understanding that everyone's journey is different. Okay. Everyone's, everyone's journey is different. Everyone's story is different. And so if you can find empathy through this phase, compassion through this phase, this goes a long way. Like I said, understanding that some people will get it and some people won't. That's okay. Setting your boundaries.
I read something the other day that resonated big time. A boundary isn't telling people what they can't do. A boundary is the action step that you can. Okay, listen to that again. A boundary isn't telling people what they can't do. A boundary is an action step that you can. Okay, so
This was huge for me because I thought boundaries were like telling people, you can't talk to me that way. You can't do this. You can't do that. But here's the thing. We cannot control what other people are doing. We can't control how they show up for themselves or they don't. We can't control how they show up for you or they don't, but you can control yourself. Right? So you can say in a situation, if you know, if person A is going to act this way, I will remove myself from that situation.
Victoria (11:43.804)
I am the one taking the action step. If you act this way, I am removing myself. Right? That is a boundary. That is something that you can implement. You take the action and it's yours. You own it. It's your thing to do. Right? So, and that also helps you to prioritize your self -care. You know, you know, maybe every day, you know that at the end of your day, you need a 15 minute walk out in nature.
So your action, your boundary is when I come home, I am taking the action to go for a walk around the block. That is your boundary. And doesn't matter, you know, if people come at you, if your family is like, mom, mom, mom, or whatever it is, if you have the opportunity, your boundary is I am taking the action step for self care by walking around the block. Then I will be a better person to come back and help you, right? That is a boundary.
That was life changing for me, that realization. Like I said, so many of it, so much of my boundary setting was telling other people what they could and could not do for me or around me or to me. And it had, and it was so empowering to learn that no, it's my own actions, my own actions. That has nothing to do with them and educate yourself guys, share resources, share resources with the loved ones so they can learn about what you're going through, how they can support you effectively.
my husband, I downloaded my period tracking app on his phone because I was like, you need to understand what I am going through. You need to get the alert that this is the second period in three weeks, right? That way he's not feeling like what the fuck is wrong with her? He can open the app and be like, my gosh, this poor woman is having a bleed again, right? And that was a resource that I, I,
really felt was invaluable to share with my partner Amy Crime here because you know what? He needed to know what was happening and I've been educating him on what perimenopause is, whether he likes it or not and I am sharing it but I am finding that the more he knows, the more he's understanding, the more he can support, you know? So remembering that I'm able to share this and educate him.
Victoria (14:09.116)
has helped our relationship evolve over the last couple of years and it's helped us to navigate paramedic pause together so that we can strengthen that bond. We can build a deeper connection because we are understanding, he's understanding what's happening to me and I'm not hiding away trying to pretend like it's not, right? Because it is, it's freaking happening whether you like it or not.
I really hope that you take some of these ideas and start to implement them for yourself, right? What can you do to help build your relationships, your connections? And before we wrap up fully, I want to hear from you guys. I love hearing from you. How have you seen the impact of perimenopause on your relationships, on your life? What strategies have you used that
have helped you build a support system. I would love for you to share your stories and your questions. You know, your insights as always are so invaluable to me being able to build this conversation on the podcast. I really appreciate when you guys reach out. Remember, you can reach out on the website, treepose .online or connect on social media at victoria underscore holistic strategies.
I am on there, you can send me a message. I would love to continue to build this support, right? So that we can really help each other on this journey of becoming whole in perimenopause. Thank you so much for joining me on this episode, episode three, the perimenopause journey and relationships. Next week, guys, we are exploring the importance of rediscovering passions and setting new goals.
during your transformative phase in life. So don't forget to subscribe. Please leave us a review, a rate. You know, your feedback really does help me grow and reach more women who can benefit from these discussions. So until next time, take care of yourselves, cherish those relationships, and allow those around you to support you.
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