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BEcoming - Episode 1


This episode is about shifting from a life of doing to a life of being, especially during the transformative phase of perimenopause. The host shares her own experience of realizing the importance of focusing on how she was being, rather than just what she was doing. She also shares the story of another woman who found contentment and peace by shifting her mindset from doing to being. The host provides practical ways to start making this shift, such as practicing mindfulness, self-reflection, setting intentions, and prioritizing self-care.

Victoria (00:00.219)

Hello, welcome back to another episode of Victoria L. I am your host Victoria, your women's holistic health strategist, and I am really excited about this. So over the summer, I am going to be bringing you a six episode podcast series. And this episode is all about becoming, being, not doing, right? So this is a series dedicated to supporting women through

this transformative phase of perimetopause as we really dig into learning how to be and just slow down with all the do. I am so thrilled to be able to embark on this journey with you guys here today in episode one and we are really going to we're going to dig in we're going to get serious about all this. So today's episode is about a profound shift that many of us really need to take a look at making in our lives.

from asking, you know, what do I want to be to how do I want to be? So let's dive in. Let's get right to it right away. First, a little about me. So I've spent much of my life chasing goals and achievements, always answering questions like what do I want to do when I grow up and what do I want to do next, right? There's always that question that comes up when you're changing things in your life. Well, what are you doing? What are you doing?

But as I entered period menopause, I realized something really crucial was missing. I was doing all the things, you know, achieving, I work hard, the parenting stuff, but I really wasn't focusing on how I was being. And really, when you're not sure how you're being, there's this sense of not truly being content or at peace, right?

This realization was the catalyst for creating this series and I am aiming this at helping us to shift from a life of doing to a life of being, especially during this transitional period of perimetopause. Perimetopause is a significant phase in our lives. Typically, you know, we start sometime in our late thirties.

Victoria (02:17.531)

sometimes earlier. It's a time when our bodies begin transitioning towards menopause. There's so many changes, things in hormone levels and changes in our bodies which can lead to all different kinds of symptoms that pop up, right? So understanding perimenopause is crucial because it does affect both our physical and our emotional well -being and symptoms can cause, you know, there are irregular periods, our hot flashes, our mood.

mood swings, amen, and sleep disturbances. But I want to talk in this series beyond just the physical. This time is a period of emotional upheaval for many of us, right? Making it more important than ever to focus on how we want to be in the world rather than just what we're going to be doing, right? So what does that mean to shift from doing to being?

Doing involves action, tasks, achieving external goals. While these things are definitely very important, they often leave out that inner state of peace, of happiness, of contentment. Being, on the other hand, is about our internal state of mind, how we feel. How are we showing up to experience life? So think about this.

You can achieve all your goals and still feel unfulfilled if you're not in a good place internally. How many have really reached for, let's say like a rank somewhere or a job promotion or something and you get there and you still don't feel content, satisfied, right? Many times we chase money. If I just had this much money, then you get that much money and you're like, well, I just need that much more money. Right? So

That's why, especially during peri - peri -metapause at this time, it's vital to ask the questions like, how do I want to be? Because we want to build that content, that peacefulness, the joy. Those are all states of being that we want to cultivate, regardless of what we are able to do or not do, where we are in life or how things are unfolding for us at this stage. So let me share a bit of my own story right now. So for many years,

Victoria (04:43.611)

I definitely have been caught up in the cycle of doing. I, you know, climb all the ladders I possibly could to try and get to the top of things, be the best entrepreneur I can, fill my schedule as much as I can, managing family responsibilities, you know, doing all the things that comes along with that, being the entrepreneur, wife, the mother, all the things that come along with that. I'm constantly striving

to meet everyone else's expectations around me and really, you know, looking, having these really high expectations of my own self. And on the surface, you know, it really does seem like, okay, she's got a handle on it. She seems to be doing it all, keeping it all together. But then on the inside, you get to this point where, you know, I was running completely on empty. I've shared this before that I have had to,

burnout a couple times to learn this lesson, right? The relentless pursuit of doing things led me to many burnouts. This last one happening this past January was just like a horrible experience and I think I pray that I finally learned my lesson. This is not what I want to be doing, right? I was exhausted both physically and mentally and it was

during this period of burnout that I realized that something really had to change. I began to ask myself, not what I wanted to do next, but how I wanted to be, how I want to show up for myself. This shift was transformative, to say the least. And by focusing on how I wanted to feel and how I wanted to be, I found that I was able to show up for myself with true understanding and

I was able to actually start to embrace self -care. Self -care for me was a huge thing I had to learn how to embrace was resting, napping, having quiet time to myself. Those were things that were self -care that was missing before this. And I had to learn to set healthy boundaries. I had to learn that

Victoria (07:00.923)

my body can only sustain so many hours of work each week. And if I go beyond that, it's burnout city. So setting a healthy boundary that I've removed myself from that space and that schedule to make sure that I'm not forcing myself into a situation of burnout again. Right. And I began to listen to my body and my mind more closely.

This journey of being rather than doing allowed me to reconnect with my true self and find a sense of peace and fulfillment that I hadn't really experienced before. And I know I'm not alone in this. So I want to share another story of a woman that I was reading about that I know that many of you can relate to.

So this lady was a high powered executive. She was one of those people that's always on the go, always achieving, always doing all the things immediately. Like, my gosh, she's got it all together, right? But she realized that she wasn't happy. She had all the things, but she shared how she wasn't happy. She didn't feel good in her body. She wasn't content.

So through therapy, self -reflection, and many different forms of self -care, she began to focus on how she wanted to feel instead of what she wanted to be. She was always striving to be better. She mentioned that she was constantly reaching for the next rung of the ladder. And so allowing her mindset to shift from, you know, what am I doing next? What do I want to feel? How do I want to be next?

this shift really transformed her life. She's still successful. She still is, you know, she shared how she's still climbing all the things that she wanted to climb. But instead of reaching for them out of the mentality that she had to do these things, she looked at it through, you know, the eyes of being, the eyes of contentment. And she shared how she's now really found a deep sense of contentment and peace. And I really resonate.

Victoria (09:14.779)

I thought that was such a beautiful experience for that woman to have and to share. So great. Let's shift from doing to being, right? It's not easy to just wake up one day and be like, I'm going to be instead of do. So I wanted to share with you guys some practical ways that you can start to shift this feeling, this mind frame. And they're really simple.

I've talked about them a million times, but let's go over them again in case, you know, so that you can start to implement them too. The first thing is shifting your mindfulness practice, right? Practice being present in the moment so that you can actually connect to your inner state and recognize how you feel. So if you are not connected to yourself when you're in a state of doing and you're very busy and you're not paying attention to how your body actually feels,

you may miss those little cues like I sure did that say you know what we need to just stop and be present for a minute. So bringing in this practice is really beneficial. The second thing is self -reflection. Taking time each day to reflect on how you feel doing journaling. The gratitude journal first thing in the morning that is an excellent and excellent way to start to shift and to

bring the power of self reflection into your life. The third thing is setting intentions. So I love this practice because it's like setting goals, but you're not setting goals. Because you're not thinking of what do I want to achieve? But instead, you're setting an intention of how you want to feel that day. You know, if you're going into the day, and you know you have a lot of crazy things to do, I want to feel

complete at the end of the day. So knowing that you're going into a busy day, you're doing all the crazy things, but knowing that by the end of the day, this will bring you a sense of contentment that you've done the things that you needed to do. And also contentment that if you don't get them all done, that that's okay, right? That's a really good, a good mind frame. And self care, prioritizing activities that actually nurture

Victoria (11:35.611)

your mind and your body and your soul, this is going to be key. This could be anything from the walks that I talk about all the time, getting out in nature, going for a walk, maybe practice some yoga, do some meditation, just really being mindful of what your body needs and what self -care looks like for you. Everybody can have different self -care, it doesn't have to look the same. So I want you to remember too that these changes don't happen overnight.

It's a journey. You know, I really wanted to shift this mindset back in January when I realized that the doing had caught up to me and run me over like a freight train. But it's been a process because I still get caught in the doing sometimes. And that's okay. We're human. So be mindful that these aren't going to happen overnight. It is a journey. You're going to learn and experience things as we go along. Right.

And you're really going to, if you, if you're mindful of it, you're going to see and learn some really awesome things about yourself as well. Right. So I'd love to hear from you. How are you navigating perimetopause? Have you made the shift from doing to being? Do you still find that you're overwhelmed? You're crazy? You're doing too much. Share your stories, ask questions, join in the conversation. We'll be actually, I'm going to start.

focusing and sharing with you guys listener stories and answering questions in future episodes of this series. So please make sure that you reach out and that you get in touch. You can reach out to me on my website www .treepose .online or on social media at victoria underscore holistic strategies. So let's build a community that supports

and offers encouragement to each other. Connect and I want to hear your story. So thank you for joining me on this first episode of this series. And next week, we'll dive deeper into understanding the physical changes of perimenopause and how to manage them while we still stay focused on that inner state of being. Okay, so don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review or a rate on the podcast. Your support really helps

Victoria (14:03.355)

helps me reach more women going through this journey. Until next time, remember it's not just about the doing. Remember to be.

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